Judd Street Tigers playing staff roster 2014

Compiled by our sports correspondent
E Savinalaar-Finney

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A brief biography of the men behind the legend that is the Judd Street Tigers. 

P1000230ALBANIAN, Pancho
Flamboyantly dressed Central American vinyl smuggler. Aggressive opening bat, occasional change bowler and steady fielder.

 

RoATKINSON-CRUISE, Roland
Terror of Notting Hill maidenhood with his rakish charm and good looks, this tyro middle-order batsman and brilliant fielder is still bursting with potential, yet to be adequately fulfilled.

Barnaby FivesBARNABUS-WINFIELD, Most Hon. Peregrine Rupert, 7th Marquess of Camberwell
The toff’s toff. His Lordship is a batsman from the classical age of cricket. Counsel to the financially endowed. Safe fielder and very occasional bowler.

GrizzlyBERGKAMP, Grizzly
Bohemian Dutchman, 2013 triallist yet to make his mark as a batsman. Possibly one to watch in 2014.

 

BDOCBIGGLESWORTH, Professor Walter Richardson ‘BDOC’
Team Director. Professor of English at Burman College, Hanwell. The veteran’s veteran, constantly re-inventing himself in desperate attempts to retain his place in the squad. May keep wicket and bowl leg-spin if required.

Chris BodenBODEENO, Shane Mitchell
Uncompromising colonial, stand-up comedian and highly proficient proponent with both bat and ball, though prone to moonlighting for his local team. Appearances may be restricted in 2014.

BURGER, Major Humphrey Arkwright ‘Dick’
Well-timbered but stylish opening or middle-order batter and slipper – the Per Mertesacker of JST (prone to the occasional gaffe, but steady, experienced and reliable, though perhaps not the quickest over ten yards). Newly-appointed 2-i-c.

ButtocksBUTTOCKS, Mark
Yeoman swing bowler and powerful lower middle-order batsman. TV producer and black metal aficionado. Club fixture secretary, vice-chairman and vice-vice captain.

 

JimmyCLINTON, James Stuart
Most promising product of club Under-40 Academy, when not attending weekend wedding bashes. Propitious batter, groomed to be future wicket-keeper. Unpredictable occasional bowler and sprightly outfielder.

MikeHCROMWELL, Judge Patrick ‘The Truth’
Ruthless hanging judge and achingly reliable opening batsman. Stringent critic of both JST and the BBC. Not a man to be trifled with both on and off the pitch.

 

DANGERFIELD, Daniel Cedric
Former captain, team wit and minor BBC celebrity. Excelled with both bat and ball last summer and will need to step up to the podium again in 2014.

DUFF, Daffy
Manservant to His Lordship and another product of the Under-40 Academy. Powerful mid-order batter and good fielder, though bowling needs some polishing.

GuyGARFIELD, Garside
Yet another U40 Academy graduate. Yet to see the best of him as a versatile all-rounder.

 

 

france09-001HILLBILLY, Phileas ‘Billy Two Teas’
A legend in his own teatime, now sadly ravaged by injury and fitness issues. Took 4000 wickets and made 400 runs for previous club West X1 but nowadays his shadow grows daily wider. Unlikely to figure much in 2014.

JAMES, Lord Jason Branson
European playboy and International Man of Mystery. Profitable lower-order batsman and underrated off-spinner.

CraigMcJOCK, Hamish ‘Scotty’
Newly-appointed skipper. Vigorous off-spinner and lower middle-order batsman. Enigmatic off-roader outdoor type, still something of an unknown quantity due to lack of opportunities in recent times.

PROTON, Portly
Vice-wit, aggressive opening/top-order batsman and wicket-keeper. Occasional spin bowler, with availability normally restricted to early season.

RAWLINSON, Farmer George ‘Mad Dog’
Experienced wicket-keeper batsman. a former BT and West X1 veteran, injury has restricted his appearances in recent times.

Renster reclineRENSTER, Gilbert Pendennis
Cornish baker famous for his succulent pies. Grizzled, unconventional veteran all-rounder. If run out, or dropped down the batting order, approach with extreme caution.

 

StewieSTEWART, Reverend Timothy Coleridge
Reformed hellraiser, returning to action last summer after long period of rehab. Stylish left-handed batsman and newly-conceived slow left-arm bowler. Excellent fielder.

 

STREET, Simon de Warrenne
Excellent all-rounder, prolific with both bat and ball. Reputedly named after Warren Street station, though claims it was named after him.

wrightyWRIGHT-HERBERT, Frederick Augustus ‘The Chingford Express
Hedonistic beat poet and New Age gardener. Erratic fast bowler and occasionally brutal top-order batsman, particularly against pubescent opposition. Prone to constantly running out his batting partners. Reliable and versatile fielder.

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