Sunday 26 June 2016 Paulin Ground, Winchmore Hill
With the country’s political structure in turmoil and its football team humiliated by a minor supermarket chain, the ailing Tigers could offer their followers no crumbs of comfort as they slumped to another disappointing defeat – their seventh of the season.
Once again unable to put a full eleven onto the field, the attending ten having an average age of a click under fifty (two of which fell lame during the game), opting to field first was something of a gamble, though early prevailing conditions favoured them as the bowlers restricted the visitors to 73-4 in the first session, thanks to a tight opening spell from Matt Webster (3-22) and Chris Dane, plus an excellent direct hit from Andy Ward to run out the dangerous Ajay (36).
Sadly, this dominance could not be maintained as the pitch and outfield dried out, with Suri (31) and Krishna (73*) taking control of the game, assisted by some hitting from the tailenders, the lack of a steady fifth bowler telling as twelve overs from Phil Hill, Chris Boden and Mike Delanian went for 106 as Fives hit 142 from the second 20 overs.
The Tigers have not fared well batting second in recent times and their innings never really got into gear. Mike Delanian had enjoyed an excellent game so far, with two wickets and a hat-trick of catches, but was run out for the second match in succession in the second over. Andy Ward (25) and Richard Burgess (29) added some impetus with the best partnership of the innings, but with Chrises Wright and Dane both failing for once it was left to brushmeister Chris Boden to play the best hand (37), but when he became yet another needless run out victim (the team’s fifth in the last 3 innings) the game was up, with the injured Webster and Steve Bignell opting for batting practice in the last ten overs against some occasional bowling.
The captain later read out a prepared statement apologizing for the team’s performance and attempts to initiate an on-line petition to reverse the result of the match failed to garner much support. With just two victories all summer the season is panning out much like 2015 for the Tigers, who badly need a change of fortune.
‘There was a man from Muddlebro’ whose problems he lay down, upon another’s doorstep in a distant strangers’ town.
But forgetting what he’s come for and in patronizing tones, he gave them all his clothes and bread to stop their moans and groans.
It’s not your fault where you were born, he said all condescending. We cannot all be made like me with lots of true blue blending.
But never mind, I’ll pass the hat around our gracious nation. The strangers held their laughter back remembering their station.’ (cue guitar solo)
REFERENDUM – Roy Harper (1976)